What does that actually meanThis is what I need to clarify between us to see if we are still at opposite ends on the see-saw or if we are inching closer together. When the grim reality is he wants a special arrangement, though he's said he'll try more. I'm in this fantasy apartment, having fantasy sex with my fantasy boyfriend. Ironically, I feel the same up here in his lofty tower. I frown because it still doesn't explain why I can't touch him. I shudder to think what he went through as a small child, and I understand why he lives here, isolated, surrounded by beautiful, precious works of art - so far removed from where he started. A fantasy - a castle in the air, adrift from the ground, safe from the realities of life - far away from neglect, hunger, and crack-whore mothers. I lie back for a moment staring through the windows at the lofty vista of Seattle's skyline. Why didn't we close the blinds last nightI am in Christian Grey's vast bed minus one Christian Grey. Sunshine pouring through the full-height windows and flooding the room with too-bright light. But the glare is too strong, and I finally succumb to wakefulness. Bright, warm, piercing light, and I endeavor to keep it at bay for a few more precious minutes.
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